Stuff

I sometimes don't understand how I get myself into these situations yet I do. I am old enough to know the difference in what is right and wrong. I still keep choosing the wrong path to follow. I am reinforcing my negative behavior. Take for example the other night, Tia and I got into a fight and the right thing for me to do would have been to apologize for my poor behavior yet I didn't. I just sat there. I just watched her be in pain and did nothing to stop it. What kind of a sick individual have I become? I used to get upset when she was hurting, yet now I just prefer to cause it. I can't even cry. I DO NOT like who I am right now. This person is horrible, mean, and just plain cruel. How does someone become this way? I need to change this about myself because if I don't, I will end up alone without anything to be proud of. I don't want to be alone, I want to have my wife, and future children with her but they do not need a parent like the person that I am right now.  This stops here. I am from now on put the important things first and the rest of the stuff next. That is the only way that I can hope to improve my marriage as well as my life as a normal human being.